Stop Feeding Your Problems
“You become what you think about most of the time.”
I saw something on Austin Kleon’s Substack that made me laugh and think at the same time. He called it “Living for dinnertime” or simply, “The Method” and here is how he describes it:
What I do is: I try not to think about my problems after dinnertime. When I wake up in the morning, my goal is to stay alive until dinnertime.”1
It sounds simple and almost silly. But there’s true genius at work here.
Here’s the thing I’ve been learning about problems: they grow when you feed them attention. It’s kind of like what happens when the Gremlins get exposed to water (they multiply) or when you feed them after midnight (they take over and become these sadistic little monsters).2
The more you dwell on your problems, the bigger they become. You start seeing them everywhere. They color every decision, every creative impulse, every conversation. Pretty soon, your problems are just obstacles. It’s at this point that they become your entire world.
A writer I know spent months obsessing over a bad review. She replayed it constantly, told the story to anyone who’d listen, let it convince her she wasn’t good enough. The review didn’t get worse, but her belief in herself did. She’d fed the problem repeatedly with so much oxygen that it became the only thing she could see.3
Then she made a choice: she set a cutoff time. After 6pm, the review didn’t exist anymore. She redirected her energy toward her new stories, toward the people who did get her work, toward growth instead of grief. Within weeks, her creative energy returned.
Here’s the paradox: the moment you stop obsessing over problems, they lose power. Not because they disappear, but because you’ve stopped amplifying them.
What you focus on becomes your reality. So focus on your dreams instead.
TODAY’s BIG IDEA:
Your attention is fuel. Don’t pour it into problems; pour it into what you’re building.
TODAY’s CHALLENGE:
Set your own “dinnertime rule.” Pick a time after which you won’t dwell on one specific problem or worry. When it creeps in, redirect to something you’re creating or building toward. Notice how your energy shifts when you stop feeding the fear.
I saw this quote on Austin Kleon’s Substack notes (dated 4/14/26). I also saw the following quotes on this same idea (what we focus on) that I thought about using before settling on the ones above. Here are some of those quotes I had considered:
“Where focus goes, energy flows.” (James Watt, often attributed to Tony Robbins)
“Energy flows where attention goes.” (James Redfield, The Celestine Prophecy)
“Don’t watch the clock; do what it does. Keep going.” (Sam Levenson)
“The mind is everything. What you think, you become.” (often attributed to Buddha)
I love that I can include a reference to one of my favorite childhood movies, Gremlins. If you haven’t seen it or it’s been awhile, check it out. I need to do that again soon!
Case in point about how dwelling on something makes it come more often: Whenever you are thinking of buying a car or after just getting a new car, you can’t help but think about your car and then you start to notice more of them on the road. Did more people buy that car recently? Of course not. You simply started thinking about it and putting it in your head and you therefore started seeing it more. What you dwell on gets fed and starts to pop up more and more!